Hook-up buddies, Play Pals, Booty Calls, whatever you want to call them they’re out there. They’re the guy or girl you never want to take home to mom and dad, you could never see yourself picking out china together, but there’s something about what they do to you in the bedroom that keeps you coming back for more. Here’s a few of the many varieties of Friends With Benefits that are out there, waiting for a friendly game of laser tag and fornication.
The Temp
You usually find this one after having an actual date together. You have a lot of fun, you really like them, and you more than likely end up in the sack together. But both of you know that you’re never going to get any farther than the fun-loving, movie-watching, adventure-having part of your relationship. The best solution is to have sex as wildly and as often as possibly for the duration. The short life span of the Temp is largely because you tire of each other quickly…the shiny new toy is abandoned in favor of something even prettier and shinier. Usually emotions never come into play, so this is one of the safer FWB situations.
The Childhood Sweetheart
Ah, the bitter taste of unrequited love. In this FWB situation, the partners have known each other from childhood. They may have experimented with kissing and other kinds of ‘fun’ touching but likely never dated, and didn’t do the dirty until after they were grown up. The trademark of the Childhood Sweetheart is that often one of the partners has had a roaring crush on the other since they were kids, and keeps up the FWB situation in the hopes that someday it’ll transition into the happy ending they’ve always hoped for.
The Ex
It’s like comfort food. You know it’s bad for you, you wouldn’t eat it unless you really needed a fix, but it’s something you’re familiar with and it’s always been there for you. Ex relationships can be convoluted, especially if you didn’t end up hating each other afterward. Ex relationships that become a sporadic FWB situation can be even more confusing, although there is something to be said for knowing each others quirks before you even hit the sack.
The Boss
Whether they’re your boss, your teacher, or otherwise in some position of power over you, this FWB situation can be amazingly passionate and, often, tumultuous. The fact that you know you’ll never become an item, for fear or risking one or both of your jobs, takes away a lot of the emotional torture that some casual relationships can present, and leaves you free to hump like bunnies in every copy room you can find open.
The Online Special
You find them through a site like Craigslist and, whether you want to admit it or not, you know you were only looking for some action by responding. Sex happens quickly but sometimes not often, as these online specials can sometimes live further away than your typical FWB. Usually these types of casual relationships have something that makes then unique, like a shared interest in bed or a physical attribute that one partner is particularly attracted too; for example, BBWS and guys or girls with tattoos.
The On-Again, Off-Again
They’re the person that you love one minute and hate the next, and love again the minute after that. You can’t even count the amount of times you’ve broken up and gotten back together, but usually between break-ups you find yourself back in the sheets together. This particular FWB differs from Ex Sex in that the pair knows that they will usually get back together. Often, sex is the only thing that keeps this couple from coming back for more, and because of the emotion involved this particular partner can be the hardest to break away from.
The Family Friend
Little Billy never looked that good when you were ten and throwing mud in each other’s hair. This person you know because your mom and his mom go out shopping together. And even though you think he’s a hottie he’s just not your type. The easy availability, however, makes him more than an appropriate FWB, so you go for it. Usually these don’t last too long, or turn into actual relationships, because the family ties on either side can create too much pressure for something to actually develop for you to carry on.
The Foreign Exchange
This FWB situation is here today, gone tomorrow. They arrive from out of town, or out of country, looking for a taste of the local color and you are only too happy to oblige. As their personal concierge, tour guide, and bedroom buddy, you spend a wild week showing them a good time. There’s a heightened sense of romance with this situation, thanks to Hollywood, but there’s also several benefits. It’s highly unlikely you’ll ever have an awkward run-in with them in the future, and if neither of you are looking for a relationship you can avoid the dreadful situation of feelings getting hurt.
The Chance Encounter
You have a steamy one-night-stand, and you never expect to seem them again. Right? Until wait, next week you’re out and there they are again. And again. And again. And it just seems like every time you go out they’re right there, and each time you can help but be bundled back off to the bedroom for another taste of the action that left you breathless in the first place. This situation can be fun. You never make plans, exchange numbers, or try and see each other, and leave everything up to chance. A year can go by without seeing this particular FWB, but this manages to keep the excitement alive.
The Tutor
An FWB of younger adults, this is usually a May-September romance situation. The Tutor is there to guide the young adult through the burgeoning sexuality. The perennial Mrs. Robinson type, this FWB acts as a guide into manhood or womanhood with a string of sexual encounters that eventually culminate as the student becomes the master and sets out to conquer the sexual world with their newly learned prowess and the tutor is no longer needed.
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