We’ve all been haunted by previous lovers before. Post-break-up, these metaphorical “ghosts” of our exes seem to still linger everywhere: In our beds when in a sleepy, horny haze we wake up temporarily forgetting we are alone and no hands but our own will be groping us. Conjured back upon the discovery of a forgotten love note in the utensil drawer. Or even doomed to forever “reside” on the over-sized couch we purchased together precisely for cuddling purposes that only one person could keep and no way were we going to throw it out since it was so damn expensive and it is so damn comfortable. And of course, every holiday following the split, should we find ourselves still single- Aunt Edna, in all her moth-ball protected sweater glory, will inevitably, loudly ask, “So, did you find anybody yet?”
But what happens when the topic of ghosts and sex is literal and not symbolic?
Here are six reported cases of spectral sex:
1. Unwelcome Advances
From the police blotter of the Federal Way Mirror (Federal Way, Washington) April 10, 2008: “At 4:02 p.m. two women went into the police station claiming that over the past two years, a paranormal person has been placing sensors on their bodies and visiting them in their house at 28600 block of 25th Place South. They said that the ghost has been having sexual intercourse with them. One woman said that these incidents started in Kent and continued when she moved here. The other woman said that this just started now.”
2. Night Tremors
From BBC News (Africa) July 19, 2001 “Fear has struck residents of the Zanzibar Islands after rumours of the re-emergence of a sexually voracious ghost that attacks people while they sleep in their beds at night. Many Zanzibaris are now refusing to sleep in their houses as they believe it only preys on people in the comfort of their own beds.The ghost or genie goes by the name of Popo Bawa and people believe that it sodomises its victims, most of whom are men. In recent years the residents on the semi-autonomous Tanzanian islands claimed that Popo Bawa only visited the islanders during voting, such as in the contentious general elections in 1995 and 2000.
But to the surprise of many this current ghost has reappeared when there is no polling of any kind.In the latest panic, he is said to be striking in the north of Zanzibar island as well as in central Pemba. People claim his presence in a house is revealed by an acrid smell and a puff of smoke. Victims then speak of being in a trance or dreamlike state as they are molested. And, so the story goes, if they do not reveal what has happened then Popo Bawa will strike the next night. A previous ghost, known for attacking children, was reported to have terrorised the islands for six months.”
3. Sometimes calling HR isn’t enough
From the Virgin Islands Daily News, February 9, 1974: “Government Office Exorcised- Hong Kong- With drums and congs, incense ashes and blessed waters, 70 Buddhist priests yesterday performed a long exorcism ritual to rid a new government building in Hong Kong of what were called “troublesome ghosts.” A woman employee of the Transport Department said the ghosts make screaming and giggling noises especially when pretty girls are around. She added she personally believes the ghosts are ‘sex-starved.’ ”
4. Home Invasion
The film,The Entity (1981,starring Barbara Hershey) is based on the true life claims of a woman in Culver City, California who reported she had been repeatedly sexually attacked by ghosts living in her home.In addition to visible bruises on her body shown as evidence, people outside the family testified that they had also seen apparitions. Doris claimed that the ghosts were of Asian men and that her children witnessed them as well. Doris moved from Culver City to San Bernadino to Texas and then back to San Bernadino- claiming the ghosts followed her to each location. Allegedly, medical tests of Doris’ claims of ghostly impregnation showed her suffering from an ectopic pregnancy.
5. Boo-tiful Dreamer
From the Malaysia Star , Nov 19, 2005: “A man sought the help of a medium after he got tired of a female ghost who wanted to have sex with him every night for the last 16 years, China Press reported.
The 34-year-old man from Kuala Lumpur, known only as Kelvin, said he felt very tired every night as the long-haired ghost would lure him into making love with her by appearing in different images.
“I have been having bad luck since she appeared in my dream. I have not been able to get married although I have had five girlfriends.
“My employers fired me because I could not concentrate on my work,” Kevin said, adding that he had changed jobs at least 10 times.
Kelvin said his nightmare began when he was 18. He believed that the ghost had attached itself to him when he was at a research institute in Kepong.
When he sought help from a medium, Kelvin was told the ghost was that of a “woman who committed suicide after a failed love 30 years ago.”
A netherworld “wedding” ceremony was held and the medium burnt three paper dolls – representing the bridegroom, a driver and a maid, to accompany the ghost, the newspaper reported.
The medium also announced during the ceremony that the driver would receive a monthly salary of RM1,000 and the maid, RM800.”
From HauntedMadison.com “The American House was a popular Madison, Wisconsin hotel and boarding house built in 1838. Shortly before the hotel burned down in 1868, a summer romance blossomed between two American House boarders, Rachel Sampson, who was a waitress in the American dining room, and Lewis D. Frost, a delivery clerk for the local Post Office. By that Fall, the romance was on fire — literally. Though never confirmed, a kerosene lamp accident was the most likely cause of the blaze that totally destroyed the American on the night of Sept. 5, 1868. Was this accident the result of certain activities occurring during a secret late night rendezvous between Miss Sampson and Mr. Frost? Perhaps. Today, the site of the old American is thought still to be haunted by these two young lovers, who have been seen through upper floor windows in an impassioned embrace. ”