“What I want is with me. My riches make me poor. If I could only escape from my own body!”
The tragedy of Narcissus, even if you haven’t read it, you’ve heard of the cultural derivatives. If you don’t know (or don’t think you know) one personally, you probably have a vague idea of the character traits of a narcissist. Self –righteous, crude and manipulative, what is it about these insalubrious characters, which has the rest of us vying for their narrow attention?Ovid, in his Metamorphoses, paints a tragically beautiful picture of Narcissus, the boy who perished once he came to know himself. Narcissus gazed at his faultless reflection in an unspoiled pool of water, and the dialogue that follows as he identifies his folly is heart wrenching. In a recent psychology today article, “How To Spot a Narcissist,” the paradoxical nature of the narcissist is examined. While few are familiar with the myth of the self- interested boy, many of us have dealt with a self- satisfied ass, who is more in love with their self than a lover could ever be.
What Psychology Today suggests, is that the narcissist has developed a means of intriguing sexual partners with his or her magnetism as a means of sustaining a stream of attention. By talking themselves up, looking the part and adopting a charisma that is meant to fascinate the object of the narcissist’s affection, the narcissist makes certain that they have a constant supply of ass kissing admirers on hand.
A narcissist is often a promiscuous hog, is loud and attention seeking, and is disinterested in conversation that does not revolve around their self. Prince Charming may not be such a prize, but there are some benefits that come along with lusting after an egomaniacal self-important stud. The self-absorbed lover seems at first like someone who may leave you feeling disillusioned and discontented, but this is precisely the irony of the narcissist. By pleasing you, they are simultaneously stroking their own swollen ego. The narcissist hates rejection, and employs ostentation to ensure that they are the power holders in any relationship. The narcissist wants you to swallow the notion of their magnificence, and will go to great lengths to secure your admiration.
If you are having a conversation with a potential partner, and they keep finding their own reflection to gaze at and redirect the conversation to focus on their achievements, you are probably watching a narcissist at work. But this is not a reason to discount this connection entirely. If you are certain of your own self worth, and the narcissist’s self-satisfied ways aren’t too repulsive, sex with a narcissist can be worthwhile. Just play the game by their rules. They have all of the tools to keep you begging for more. Don’t be bothered by their self-absorption. Instead, use it to your advantage.
Agree with your narcissist. They are stunning, they are talented, and they are remarkable partners (for a short time, anyway.) So keep that mirror in plain view and let that conceited collaborator show you exactly why you should love them like they do.
By: Rhys Darling
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