1. Sir Isaac Newton
Considered to be the greatest mathematician and scientist ever, Newton did not have a formula for lust, remaining a virgin his entire life.
2. George Frederic Handel
His awesome hair-do and even more awesome music did not raise him to heights of ecstasy. Legend has it that when King George II asked why he wasn’t married, he simply responded with: “I have no time for anything but music.”
3. Mohandas Gandhi
After having children, this revered Indian peacemaker decided to control his “vital fluids” by abstinence, often testing his testicles by allowing nubile, young women to spend the night massaging him in the nude.
4. J.M. Barrie
The poster boy for never growing up, Barrie actually never grew…past a height of 5 feet. Regardless of his stature he did manage to land an actress babe wife only to refuse consummation of the marriage- not even so much as allowing his bells to be tinkered with.
5. Nikola Tesla
This electrical genius and inventor opted to never turn himself on despite being pursued by the likes of actress Sarah Bernhardt. He cited the fact that amazing inventions are not made by married men as the primary cause of the wiring behind his decision to never screw anything in except a light bulb.
6. Sigmund Freud
At the age of 41, this purveyor of other people’s peccadilloes ironically concurred that his own sex life was too much of a distraction from his work.
7. Stephen Fry
This openly gay British actor/comedian/writer went through a period of disgust at the idea of “rubbing the wet slimy bits” of his body over other people. Now in a relationship for eight years, that script has since been re-written.
8. Carol Channing
Oh no, Dolly! Musical legend and gay icon Channing was married to husband Charles Lowe for 41 years without any dancin’ routines between the sheets. She has since gone on to re-marry and is hopefully singing another tune.
9. Morrissey
Eccentric 80′s new wave superstar and noted vegetarian, Morrissey apparently believed that his own meat should not even be consumed after making the conscious decision to eschew getting it on to prove he would not have sex with just anybody.
10. Lady Gaga
Although many of us are inclined to believe otherwise, the holder of the title for current hardest working woman in showbiz is not just a believer in bad romance but claims to currently not get caught up in sex at all- bad, good or otherwise due to the demanding rigors of her schedule of taking over the globe.
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