People grow up, they get older and wiser, and they go back to the cartoons they watched when they were kids only to realize…there is a lot of stuff in their that they missed. Shows written by, voiced by and animated by adults often contain a lot of things that fly right by a kid without ever being noticed. It isn’t until you look at them with the wisdom (and perversity) of an adult that you realize what was really going on…(or what totally could have been).
A bunch of teenagers traveling in a van, in the 1960s, with a talking dog who munches with his stoner friend on ‘Scooby Snacks’. Right. The only thing more obvious than Shaggy and Scoobs penchant for the ganja is the sexual tension going on between Fred and Daphne, who would obviously be going at it if there weren’t mysteries to solve. Not to mention Velma…somebody that uptight could only be sexually frustrated.
A community of dozens and dozens of little blue men, with only one little blue woman to go around. You have to admit, the Smurfs have definitely got a case of blue balls. Who knows how long it’s been since any of them had a good Smurfing? All right, all right, it may be a kids TV show but somebody had to have thought of these things when the show was first being made.
Go go gadget…whoa, there, Inspector. With so many gadgets you have to start wondering what else he’s got in his arsenal of goodies. Go go gadget Dildo…go go gadget Bullet…the most painful part of this scenario is remembering just how unreliable his gadgets could be. There’s no telling what may come up, no pun intended, behind close doors.
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe/She-Ra
Big, muscular, sweaty, sexy. He-Man was…well, the perfect symbol of masculinity. Being just about the manliest man in the universe gave him major swag with the ladies, and for girls who like it rough and just a little barbaric the idea of a He-Man pounding could be highly erotic. For the men there was She-Ra, who as far as cartoons went had the best rack in animation (and, guys would hope, thighs capable of cutting circulation to half their body).
The cartoon that likely bore a generation of furries, the Thundercats were a team of feline crime-fighters that made adult cartoon-watchers highly uncomfortable. Sexy teens or cats? The Thundercats were actually somewhere between the two. Kitten tongue-bathes contribute to all sorts of confused feelings. The only sure thing? Thundercats were totally go.
Although the American version of this show has always proven pretty tame, the Japanese cuts enhance the sexual tension of Ash and Misty, his female companion, to an unhealthy level. The two are often seen at the baths together and in various ‘risque’ situations. It makes you wonder just what two kids traveling together, alone, on the open road could possibly get up to. Add to that a bunch of sentient animal-things and who knows what they were up to.
There is one reason and one reason only that a couple like Wilma and Fred Flintstone could stay together, despite her somewhat shrewish nature and his boorish antics. Hot caveman loving. With muscular thighs from running his car around all day, to his pre-historic appetite, Fred must have had more than enough going for him beneath the covers to keep Wilma coming back for more. Added to that the suggestive names they chose for their kids…Pebbles and Bam-Bam anyone? And the evolution of kink continues.
Ren and Stimpy
This show was never meant for kids, but an entire generation of kids saw it anyway. There is a lot in this show that you only understand when you get older. But the biggest vibe you miss out on is the obviously homoerotic relationship between the two main characters. Their infighting, their passion, their overly close friendship all speak of the sort of bond only found through sexual experimentation. Add to that the interspecies aspect of their relationship and the perv factor skyrockets.