Montana Fishburne is putting all of her money on the Kim Kardashian method: use your D-List celebrity status to create a scandal by releasing a sex tape. But will she achieve the same success as Kardashian?
Let’s look at what’s worked in the past and see if Montana Fishburne is on the road to sex-cess or is just proving to be a hot, slutty mess.
SEX-CESS TIP #1: Play the victim, take the money
History has shown that its best to have your tape ‘leaked’ without your knowledge than to release the tape yourself. When Dustin Diamond, better known as Screech of “Saved by the Bell” authorized the release of his own sex tape in 2006 it became just another black mark in a long line of failures.
In stark contrast, Kim Kardashian told Us Weekly that she was “hurt and embarrassed” when Vivid entertainment made her sex tape public. Paris Hilton sued her boyfriend Rick Salomon for releasing her tape. And Pamela Anderson sued the distribution company responsible for releasing her tape with Tommy Lee. What happened to them, instant fame!
VERDICT: This is strike one for Fishburne who is owning the production and release of her sex tape labeling it her new ‘career’.
Kendra Wilkinson - already considered a slutt.
SEX-CESS TIP #2: Surprise Us
It’s not much of a scandal if everyone expects you to have a porn tape. This is why Kendra Wilkinson, Hugh Hefner’s ex and Playoby Playmate star of The Girls Next Door, didn’t see a boost in her celebrity status after her sex tape was released. It’s the same reason why no one cared when Tila Tequila’s naked photos and sex tape came out.
But it you come out of nowhere. If you’re the good girl gone bad, or the choir boy who publicly unearths his hidden demons then you have a scandal!
VERDICT: This is a big plus for Montana Fishburne. No one expects the daughter of Morpheus from the Matrix to be a sex star. What an embarrassment! This is newsworthy just to see how Lawrence Fishburne reacts to the controversy.
SEX-CESS TIP #3: Be Available
Part of the reason why people love to follow sex scandals is because we love to hate these talentless hacks. But if they’re not around to hate, then we’ll quickly lose interest. The most successful sex tapes are followed by a stream of media attention and roles on Reality TV shows. See Paris Hilton and ‘The Simple Life’ or Kim Kardashian and ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians.’
Keeping up with Kim Kardashian was easy once she accepted her role on TV.
VERDICT: This one is still up in the air for Montana. But the Huffington Post reports that since her sex tape became public she has received several offers for ‘acting roles.’
SEX-CESS TIP #4: Have Sex With an Equal
Rob Lowe, R. Kelly, and Joey Butafuco purportedly had sex with 16-year olds on their sex tapes. This move got them closer to landing time in jail than in the tabloids.
Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee - a Perfect Match
On the flip side look at the archetypal Pam Anderson/Tommy Lee sex tape, or the Pam Anderson/Bret Michaels sex tape. A dead sexy rock star hooking up with a drop dead gorgeous model and actress? Who doesn’t want to see that? You don’t have to be two sex gods to make a good tape either. D-List celebrity Kim Kardashian hooked up with D-List Celebrity Ray J. Just as long as you match, you’re good.
VERDICT: Nobody knew who Montana Fishburne was before this sex scandal. Nobody knew her co-star, Brian Pumper, either. People probably still don’t know who Brian Pumper is, his name sounds like that of a cartoon rabbit. These are equal in my book!
SEX-CESS TIP #5: Be an Attractive Woman
Simply put, sex tapes don’t work for men. Whenever a man releases a sex tape one of three things happen; they go to jail, they get ridiculed, nothing. Sex tapes don’t launch the careers of men mainly because there’s no market for it. Men are the one’s who care about the porn. They don’t care who the guy is just as long as he doesn’t look at the camera and wink at you. That’s why nothing good came of sex tapes from Verne Troyer, Gene Simmons, Fred Durst or Kid Rock. No one cares.
VERDICT: From all recent accounts, Montana Fishburne is a woman and she is smokin’ hot. As far as celebrity sex scandals go she stands up to the looks of a Paris Hilton or a Kim Kardashian. One point for Montana.
THE FINAL VERDICT:
Unfortunately for the world, it looks like Montana Fishburne is on the road to sex-cess. She has followed four out of five of the proven methods to celebrity sex scandal glory. And by openly admitting to her plans she has broken the mold and moved past out-dated methods of denying responsibility. Look out world, Montana Fishburne is here to stay!
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