Think back, if you can, to a time when cameras weren’t standard features on cell phones, when web-cam images were so pixilated it looked like a Rubix Cube jizzed all over the screen, and you didn’t even get to see it until 30 seconds after it happened. Back when the amount of time it took to download a single image lasted minutes, long enough for you to walk away from your PC, go into the kitchen, make a sandwich, come back and still have to wait for you download to finish—and by the time that happened the cyber sex you were having with that random on AOL had lost its steam.
In today’s tech-obsessed world, the annoyances of yesteryear’s technology have become obsolete. As technology advances so does the rate at which it advances, and lucky for us we can have it all – phone, camera, video camera, Internet and vibrator?—in one convenient little package. See the before and after below.
Finally, the ultimate device for phone sex in a world that is becoming more and more digitally connected is here. The IPhone 4— an all-in-one gadget that will inevitably gain the ubiquity of its’ predecessors—will revolutionize phone sex as we know it. I mean, who really wants to talk to their grandma when you can see boobies instead??
It has already spawned phone sex operations à la 1-900-style. Shortly after the IPhone 4 was released, a tech-savvy entrepreneurial type in New York already posted adds requesting services from girls to become video-phone sex operators, not only offering them pay as the business grows, but also a free IPhone 4. Not a bad deal.
Lucky for the guys, visual creatures by nature, interactive phone sex will blow traditional 1-900 phone sex out of the water. Perhaps those who are not so lucky are the ladies whose voices are significantly sexier than their looks. Not to stress though, there is a sexual niche out there for everyone. I mean sure, there are still live chats, but who wants that. It’s all about novelty right!?
Even though the rest of us probably won’t get a free IPhone 4, we can still reap the advantages. No more having to set up your web cam/on-screen camera and then yourself to the perfect angle. I can’t tell you how many how many hours I’ve spent trying to find the perfect angle for my web cam in my dimly lit bedroom that shows my cheekbones just the way I wished God intended them and then find another angle for when I want the focus to be on something more exciting than my cheekbones.
No more having your partner see the dishes you forgot to do looming in the background. And with the IPhone 4, no one will have to see the embarrassing psychedelic weed leaf poster my roommate insists on hanging in the living room, even though he should have thrown it away when he dropped out of college.
No more having to take your unwieldy laptop to bed with you, adjusting the screen angle and then yourself, and then staying in that exact spot.
No longer do I have to worry about putting my foot through my laptop screen, which has happened. I can solve all these problems with this one glorious device.
Now when your horny self crawls into bed, phone handy for an exchange of dirty words, just ‘tell’ becomes ‘show and tell.’ And not 2009 show and tell. 2010 show and tell.
Apple’s new retina display technology and forward and backward facing cameras present moving images in exquisite clarity in detail. Expressions become real and intimate. Laughter can be felt, dismay can be sensed, your eyes can express your true intensions. (This may sound like an add, but it’s true! I just got one!)
Apple calls their video chat feature ‘facetime,’ but really, you can show a lot more than your face. For those that crave intimacy but can’t be at the same place at the same time, ‘facetime’ can become ‘naughtytime’ or ‘filthyraunchyiwanttofuckyoulikethistime.’
Whatever you want to call it, the IPhone 4 can provide these intimate encounters in sensual detail, not just in the bed (if confined there, get a dock for the hands free experience), but also in public for those more adventurous, provided there is WiFi available. I don’t care who you are, library sex is still hot. Or there’s always parks, museums, coffee houses, or your friends’ houses.
Now you can look into each other’s eyes and know they mean it when they tell you they miss you. Instead of describing what you’re wearing you can show them, and show them that you’re actually taking it off. You can show your partner what you want done to you, or tell the other what you want to see them do. Even though masturbation still isn’t as good as the real thing, mutual-masturbation just got infinitely hotter with ‘facetime.’ You can’t fake it either.
Certainly the features of the newest IPhone can provide a realness to intimate encounters unlike the mobile devices before the IPhone 4 , not to mention its portability and all-in-one convenience. Like many advances in technology, the good comes with the bad. That’s not to say that the pros don’t outweigh the cons, though. You must be connected to a wifi network to use ‘facetime’ and, like with other cameras, ample lighting is still necessary. Also, be aware that like other media you may share of yourself, sexual or non-sexual, “facetime” can be saved in screenshots and used without your consent. If this is a distressing thought, make sure you trust the person you are engaging with.
Otherwise, if a new phone is something on your wish-list or you’re eligible for an upgrade, go get one (persuade your partner get one, too) and have the greatest phone sex ever. And if you don’t have a partner, it might be to your benefit anyway, as its been said, although its probably bullshit, that people with iPhones get laid more anyway.
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