Forget about Vaginal Rejuvenation. I mean who needs a surgery to make your pun pun tight? Save your money because these are the 10 best ways to tighten it up and have the feel of “Like a Virgin.”
1. – Kegal, Kegal, Kegals. I cannot stress this one enough, but this works. Your shit will be running like a river in terms of your muscle tone and being able to squeeze down on that dick. Hell in a couple of weeks you might even be able to shoot a 7up can out of it. This is how it works: squeeze your anus and urethra. You’re not exercising the right muscles if your buttocks or stomach tighten.
- Step 2: Once you’ve found the right muscles to contract, squeeze for three seconds, and then relax for another three seconds.
- Step 3: Repeat the exercise 10 to 15 times per session, and do this at least three times a day. Remember that Kegel exercises only work when they are done regularly. This may take about ten weeks to see a difference so don’t get giddy yet. The more you do, they more you can grip that dick.
2. – Ben Wa Balls - Ben ba Balls are stainless steel balls about the size of marbles. They are generally gold-plated, and are sold two to the set. Ben Wa Balls are heavy! And this is how you work that pussy and put it through boot camp. They aid in strengthening the lower abdominal and vaginal muscle structure. These balls should be inserted into the vagina twice
each day, for about ten minutes a session twice a day. In order to keep these balls from falling out as you go about your daily task, you must pull up tightly on the tummy and vaginal muscles. To remove the balls, she must simply relax the muscles by taking several deep breaths, pushing “outward.”
If your pussy rejects one ball after a minute or two you are going to have to start your exercise program with ease. First take on one ball to build up your muscle strength. After that you can add the second ball, juggling both of them inside of you for a full ten minutes. Once this is achieved you can reduce your exercises to twice a week.
3. – Jade Eggs. I suppose these have the same concept behind the Ben Wa Balls, but a little different. As used in the Imperial Court
of Ancient China for pleasure and health, jade eggs are drilled to accommodate a string for ease of removal or for applying additional external weight. You can do it while sitting, standing or laying down by first threading and knotting a fine string or un-waxed dental floss through the end of the egg. After that apply the thicker end of the egg into the inner labia, moving it slowly until it feels like it belongs there. Go slow and deep or it can get ugly.
4. – Stop dealing with members of the LDC (Little Dick Committee) small dicks. Bottom line!
You might think that your pussy is loose cause it just keeps slipping out, but this is not the case at all. It is too small for you. All the squeezing and different yoga positions in the world aren’t gonna change the fact that he got a dick that should be in a baby’s diaper.
5. Stop dealing with men with “Big Egos” (big dick willies). Of course every other dick is gonna feel like you swallowing it up whole because you have allowed a big dick to come and set up shop. Besides the fact that he probably bust out an ovary or pulled down a fallopian tube, he has stretched your walls out. Check out number seven.
6. China Shrink Cream - This is what the company says, “This China Shrink Cream is a quick and safe way to minimize your vaginal opening. When applied to the vagina and around the opening, the vagina will proceed to tighten, and the effect will last for a period of 24 hours.” This cream is supposed to be good for women who have had multiple babies or have been around the block a couple of times. After five minutes of applying, your pussy is supposed to tighten. Now that is magic!
7. Vinegar and water douche. My friend swears by this. Ms. Infidelity uses this when she doesn’t want her husband to find out that mama bear was sleeping in someone else’s bed. I don’t know if it works or not. I know if anything you can be sure that your pussy will have the remnants of vinegar in smell and taste. Yummy!
8. Vaginal cones - These objects are weighted, tampon-sized devices that a woman puts into her vagina and holds there. A set of cones increases gradually in weight. First start with the light cone by applying it inside. Next, squeeze on the muscles to hold it in. You must do this twice a day for 15 minutes per session. It is suggested that during this time you carry on with your daily activities. After the first cone is successfully held, you can keep applying heavier cones till you have conquered them all.
9. Don’t have sex. I mean it is okay if you want to be a virgin until you find the right one. After you have sex for the very first time, you will be really tight. There might be a little blood after the hymen is broke, but your are tight and that is all that really matters. After continuous sex you will have to look at numbers 1 to 8. This in no means is supporting being a hoe.
10. SEW it up. Yep, I said it stitch that ish’. I mean I feel that if you are going to go to great lengths to please this man and get the pussy real tight, why not do what they do in some parts of Africa; infibulations, the sewing of the pussy lips to keep the woman from straying from her husband while he is out of town. This is a surgical procedure that closes up the outside lips. However, they leave a small enough hole for the woman to flow every month on her moon cycle. The legs are bound together for approximately two weeks to allow the labia to heal into a barrier.
If you do all TEN of these things to tighten up your pussy without vaginal rejuvenation, you are a WARRIOR! Now you can keep your man without all the little hussies winning him over.
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