If your thoughts wander towards topics like humiliation, bondage and pain, and then your hand also wanders inside your pants, chances are you’ve spent time wondering where you can meet other sexual deviants like yourself.
Online
Kinky dating sites are no longer in vogue unless you’re interested in ogling cocks close-up and online fantasy sites, such as Second Life or Inworldz, offer limitless options for exploring your perversions, but are ultimately not a good way to meet people in real life. For meeting the kinky people living near you, I suggest checking out www.fetlife.com, aka Facebook for kinky people. Join groups with people who share your common interests, like spanking, bondage, age play or World of War Craft.You can also build up a list of “fetishes” to let others know what you’re into and check out the profiles of the people who share those fetishes or live in your area. I recommend asking them out for coffee before asking if you can tie them into a pretzel.
The Dungeon
Your first visit to your nearest BDSM club, often called the dungeon, will probably be eye popping. You’ll definitely nudity; you might also see blood, fire or the mind blowing hook suspension; which is just like it sounds: a person suspending in midair by ropes attached to metal loops that are “hooked” into several layers of skin. No one will fault you for becoming an unblinking voyeur. Watching is encouraged. If you find that you’re watching an awful lot of blow jobs when you were hoping to partake in some spanking, then you might be at the wrong kind of party. Different parties attract different kinds of play. There are sex parties, BDSM parties, swinger events and fetish parties, just to name a few. Show up prepared. All parties require safe sex, so bring a condom, a dental dam, lube and some gloves. Also, ask about rules before you show up to the door. Fetish parties sometimes don’t allow jeans, sex parties occasionally require nudity, and not all BDSM clubs allow fucking. Play begins with conversation. Be prepared to spend some time talking. If the most common question asked between strangers is, “What do you do for a living?” The most common question asked between kinky strangers is, “What are you into?” Before you go out into the scene try answering that question in the mirror a few times.
The Conference
The conference is usually a weekend long event. There will be classes during the day to teach you how to tie a pretty knot or throw a whip. At night, everyone takes to the dungeon to practice their skills … or just to get off. Conferences are a great way to meet a wide variety of responsible and experienced players. Don’t be afraid of the sadists. In my experience they’re some of the nicest people at the events, until you start playing with them at any rate.
Volunteer
Kink can be expensive. Toys cost money, entrance to play parties is usually well over the standard club cover charge and conferences are easily more than $100. Offering your services as a volunteer for setting up the parties or becoming a dungeon monitor is a great way to meet people, learn and enjoy your fantasies at low cost. There are nearly one million people using Fetlife right now. You and your fantasies are in good company. The next time your mind and hands are wandering, keep in mind that there are thousands of people who would love to turn your thoughts into reality and replace your hands with their own!
Kole
www.developingkole.com
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