• Tweet
• Share
• Email

• Tweet
• Share
• Email

When you were in junior high the chances are high that the girls had mustaches, mosquito bites for boobs and smelled a bit like chicken soup. There wasn’t a lot of material to jerk off to. You had a choice: TV or the dusty old Playboy’s your dad had where the models vagina’s appeared to be wearing some kind of fur coat. TV would have been the better choice obviously because there definitely was not a shortage of hot ass. Here is a list of the hottest prime time centerfold fantasies that will probably still make you excuse yourself to the bathroom during a commercial break.

KELLY KAPOWSKI

Kelly Kapowski was a bad bitch. She was innocent on the surface but I betcha anything as soon as she got Zack Morris on her My Little Pony comforter shit went down. Her ass looked so good in those acid wash Levi’s, and not for nothing she dressed pretty damn slutty. You didn’t have to be Zack Morris to get a piece of that all you needed to do was come home from school grab a Dunkaroo and watch Kelly watch you take care of business.

SIX

Six from Blossom was annoying. She talked really really really really fast and never ever ever ever shut up, but she was hot and her body was thick and curvy and she was packing a lot of ass in her neon stretchy pants. She was always going on dates (code for fucking in the backseat) while Blossom stayed home weeping over her nose. Joey Lawrence wasn’t the only one going “whoaaaaaa”.

KELLY BUNDY

Kelly Bundy got it all from her mama Peggy. The brains (non existent), the looks and a penchant for slutty and tight clothing that American Apparel could only wish to recreate. Kelly always had different boyfriends and was not ashamed to fuck around with them on the floral couch no matter who was watching. She was the girl dreams are made of and the girls that made our anatomical parts do strange things.

TIFFANY MALLOY

TITS! TITS! TITS! 3 words every little boy claims to be his favorite. Enter Tiffany Malloy from Unhappily Ever After. She sure as hell didn’t look like any high school girl unless you went to Bob Guccione High. The show sucked and was on a shitty network and the premise was a guy who talks to a stuffed bunny in his basement. You make the decision how the show even had any viewers. Titttttttsssss!!!

C.J PARKER

Help! Save me!! I am drowning!! the usual dialog of adolescent wet dreams involving fluorescent red lifeguard bikinis and C.J Parker. C.J was a true vision, not only was she a hero saving people from dying but she had huge flotation devices (her buoy and her knockers) and you could almost see her pussy in that uniform. Baywatch was probably not only your first boner, but was also the reason you gained your first bulging triceps, just like The Hoff.

TOPANGA

Topanga wasn’t the obvious sexy chick in the sluttiest clothes with it all hanging out and she didn’t need to be. Did you see those lips?! Those lips could make any little boy redirect his thoughts into blow jobs even when they didn’t even know what it was yet. Boy meets world, Topanga meets penis.

SABRINA

Sabrina had all the makings of our future dream woman. She was a witch, loved her pussy and could role play into anything at the point of a finger. She could make all your wishes come true. She also lived with 2 aunts who were pretty hot themselves. Sabrina and your hand= magic.

BUFFY

Sexy, petite, blonde and can kick ass that’s Buffy Summers. Buffy was allowed to stay up late and kick the shit out of future Edward Cullen’s all while wearing really tight leather pants. She liked to grunt as she fucked up the blood suckers. There is no denying that when Buffy was on TV, you could have helped her if she ever ran out of wooden stakes.

RACHEL GREEN

Fathers and sons alike had a thing for Rachel Green. She was the definition of sophisticated Manhattan girl. She had her quirks and one of them was falling in love with the nerdy Ross. She gave hope to the tykes who liked dinosaurs that one day they too would be able to smash a hottie with firm tits and incredible hair.

FRAN “THE NANNY” FINE

The sexiest woman of prime time. Hands down. What kid on this on earth would be lucky enough to have a nanny this fucking outrageously hot! Fran was fine in her miniskirts and belly baring shirts. Her hair was always done up as was her makeup and don’t forget the HIGH HEELS. Mr. Sheffield must have been high or had brain damage not to hit that from day one. I bet as a little boy you asked for a nanny and wound up with some fat Ukranian lady with a big hairy mole. That’s what makes TV so great, it never really happens in real life!

Photos:
imageshack.us
celebuzz.com
echo.com
tsbmag.com
baywatchfan.com
fanpop.com
howcelebsdiet.com
rollingstone.com
rollingstone.com
cloudfiles.com