We all love being loved. For everyone, expressions of intimacy play out differently. For some, satisfying our most carnal desires means coupling. Whether said coupling includes a series of casual connections or a passionate pairing with a love interest, we share our bodies with others generally because we enjoy how affection makes us feel.
Self-love is a unique category of intimacy, as we have the ability to do it ultimately any time we please. Common conception of chronic masturbators is that those participating in some ‘me-time’can’t get it anyplace else. While in some cases this may be true, for many, some solo time in the sack is a welcome opportunity for some expert TLC.
When you are sitting around and start to feel horny, don’t jump the gun. Masturbation doesn’t have to be all: Turns on porn. Rubs self. And scene. Too often do we treat ourselves during masturbation like some used up partner in a tired long-term relationship. The same way you might ditch the sweatpants for a fiery evening with your long time flame, don’t forget to show yourself some respect. Simple thoughtful gestures such as dimming the lights, downloading some new porn, or treating yourself to a new toy, or lube can give you a chance to develop your personal sexual experience.
Alone time can be the best time to explore your body and find out exactly what makes you tick. Experimenting with yourself can give you ample opportunity to gain comfort in your own skin. By learning how to love yourself, you gain confidence and are better prepared to show a lover how to love you.
Many feel as though masturbation is mainly a means of survival during periods of time between intimate partners. But being in a relationship shouldn’t mean the end of unrepentant wanking. In fact, the midst of a monogamous relationship is as good a time as any to fuck yourself, as it can be a good way to keep things with your partner interesting. Masturbating when you are in a relationship should only add to the sexual dynamic and improve sex with your partner, not detract from it. Its pretty widely accepted that incorporating toys into the bedroom enhances couple’s time in bed together. But what’s not so certain is that taking some time to indulge in your sexual appetite without the participation of a partner can benefit both of you.
The reality is that everyone masturbates. And there is no reason not to. It is the safest most uncomplicated sexual experience available to us as humans. While I would never suggest that solo sex sessions are a practical replacement for pairing, I do encourage everyone, no matter what form your sex life takes, to explore what gets you going independently.
R. Darling
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