Food… The other man’s best friend. The saying you are what you eat is not just some old tired cliche, it’s the truth when it comes to sexual health and voracity. Eating healthy isn’t only good for your overall health, but specific foods can make you ditch the Rx bottle of those little blue pills and feel like a brand new sexual being.
If you sit around all day eating McDonalds and the like you can not only expect to look like Eddie Murphy in a fat suit but you might even have to resort to going to a transvestite hooker to scare your fat ass into shape. See mom was right when she said eat your greens and beans buddy. Here are five foods that will boost your libido.
1. ASPARAGUS
Asparagus may ring a not so sexy bell inside your head. It probably makes you think of taking a piss that smells worse than Kim Kardashian’s thong on a humid summer day, but, asparagus reaps more benefits than you may think. This vegetable is rich in Folate, a B vitamin that increases histamine production. Proper levels of histamine play a crucial role in sex drive for men and women.
Try this recipe for a night you will never forget:
Grilled Asparagus
Ingredients
- 1 pound fresh asparagus spears, trimmed
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- salt and pepper to taste
Directions
- Preheat grill for high heat.
- Lightly coat the asparagus spears with olive oil. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
- Grill over high heat for 2 to 3 minutes, or to desired tenderness.
2. Ginger
Ginger is a word associated with something sexy like Ginger Spice or Prince Harry. If you find your Prince William isn’t working as royally as you would like then this root will get you back to shagging baby in no time. Ginger is like a super agent, The James Bond of foods. Working to scrub your blood vessels clean of free radicals, in turn, decreases inflammation and relaxes your arteries which leads to increased blood flow. Studies have shown about 1 teaspoon a few times a week is all you need to reap the rewards and be right on your way to giving her that spot of dick shaken and stirred. Oh and for ladies it makes your Pussy Galore taste extra sweet.
Ginger Martini
Ingredients
- 1 fluid ounce ginger liqueur
- crystallized ginger
- 4 fluid ounces chilled vodka
- 1 cup Ice cubes
Directions
- Place martini glasses in the freezer to frost.
- Fill chilled glass with ice, and pour in ginger liqueur. Allow liqueur to chill for one minute. Remove ice cubes, and pour in vodka. Garnish with crystallized ginger.
3. AVOCADOS
The Mexicans must be on to something with this super food. Have you seen how many kids they have? There has to be a reasoning behind all the sex they are having and let’s just chalk it up to the power of the avocado. Avocados have a ton of vitamin B6 to produce male hormone production and enough Potassium to regulate a woman’s thyroid gland. This boosts libido in both sexes which will make you horny enough to bounce up and down like a Mexican jumping bean.
AVOCADO & TOMATO SALAD
Ingredients
- 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
- 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
- 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
- 1 pinch ground black pepper
- 1 avocado – peeled, pitted and sliced
- 2 small tomatoes, each cut into 8 wedges
Directions
- In a small bowl, whisk together the mustard, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and pepper. Arrange the slices of avocado and tomato alternately like the spokes of a wheel on one big serving plate, or individual plates. Drizzle lightly with the dressing, and serve immediately.
4. EGGS
Eggs can be sexy. Don’t believe it. What do hard boiled eggs resemble? ( If you guessed testicles then you are correct). All joking aside, eggs are totally beneficial in more than one way. Rich in vitamin B3 and B6, theses huevos help control and regulate stress. Less stress equals more sex and more sex equals less stress…see? Eggs are also a world renowned breakfast food so this concludes to making her drip in the morning over-easy.
Egg in a Hole
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 extra virgin olive oil
- 1 slice bread
- 1 egg
- salt and ground black pepper to taste
Directions
- pour the extra virgin olive oil in a non-stick pan over low heat.
- Cut a 1 1/2 to 2-inch hole from the center of the bread slice; lay in the hot skillet. When the side facing down is lightly toasted, about 2 minutes, flip and crack the egg into the hole; season with salt and pepper. Continue to cook until the egg is cooked and mostly firm. Flip again and cook 1 minute more to assure doneness on both sides. Serve immediately.
5. NUTS
Nuts are good, nuts are great, make her lick them while you masturbate. It was hard to resist using a nut pun. Not because it was obvious and easy but because the word nut always brings laughter anytime it is spoken and you know why. What you may not know is that nuts are awesome for your nuts. All nuts support libido since they contain high levels of essential fatty acids that are uber critical to the production of hormones we need to stay horny. Rich in L-Arginine, they improve circulation which enhances erectile response. The smell of almonds and pine nuts is known to act as a natural aphrodisiac that attracts women. These nuts are packed with Zinc for healthy sperm.
Glazed Nuts
Ingredients
- 1 egg white
- 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
- 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon ground cloves
- 1 teaspoon ground ginger
- 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
- 1 pound walnut halves
Directions
- Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray.
- In a large bowl, beat egg white until foamy. Stir in brown sugar, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and vanilla. Add nuts, and stir to coat. Spread evenly onto prepared pan.
- Bake for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until well toasted and golden brown. Remove from oven, and cool completely. Store in an airtight container.
DID YOU KNOW:
That at age 30 a man’s testosterone levels begin to decline at a rate of 1-2% per year. This drops the male hormones (androgens) a process called andropause. Andropause is kinda like the male version on menopause.
Avoid these foods to keep your little troopers up and erect:
1.SALT
High sodium is the root of all evil. Contributing to high blood pressure which leads to the big ED (erectile dysfunction)
2.TRANS FAT
Trans fat are by far the worst macronutrients for cardiovascular health. Your boner and girlfriend relies on a efficiently functioning heart.
3.SOY
Soy is not for men. Warning not for men. The estrogenic properties in these beans decrese testosterone. Skip the edamame, it makes you look kinda fruity ordering it anyway.
4.CANNED FOODS
Canned foods have a high content of BPA. Men who are exposed to high levels of BPA are four times more likely to experience and report erectile dysfunction and are a whopping seven times more likely to report problems with ejaculation. So stop being lazy and buy natural and organic fruits and veggies.
By Kristie Rivaloro
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