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You were probably too young to notice the first time around, but if you’ve watched any classic Disney movie lately, you’ve more than likely found yourself rising to the occasion- by which I mean getting an erection. Before you stammer a denial, hear us out: it’s not your fault. The evil genius animators at Disney purposefully draw female characters to be attractive and scantily clad, presumably to encourage innocent young girls to grow up and become sexy all-American skanks. You are an innocent bystander, and your chubby is merely collateral damage in Disney’s war against women. Now that we’ve assuaged any pesky feelings of guilt or shame, here are the 5 Disney princesses you’d hit pause for:

1. Princess Jasmine

This smoldering-hot Arabian jewel bewitched us with her mischievous smile and sense of adventure. The bare midriff probably didn’t hurt either. Even Robin Williams’ irritating voice acting didn’t stop us from appreciating this girl’s sultry shape and swinging braid. Jasmine’s smokey eyes and slinky saunter made you long to see her in the flesh, while her rebellious streak let you know she had a wild side. The best thing about her? Her best friend was a tiger. ‘Nough said.

2. Princess Ariel

Forget that she had a tail and was half fish- she wore tiny purple seashells that barely covered her breasts. If you weren’t so busy appreciating her animated curves, you would have wondered how Disney managed to pass her off as wholesome and family-friendly. This daddy’s-little-girl might have been the apple of King Triton’s eye, but like all of the princesses on the list Ariel most definitely had a naughty side. Falling for another species takes imagination, and defying your father (not to mention the laws of nature) to get your man takes passion. It was for these reasons that restless little Ariel made us wonder how fish get it on. Oh, and did we mention that she was a redhead?

3. Princess Belle

For those of us who love the girl next door, Belle was a wet dream come true. Sweet, smart, and sexy in a wholesome, animated way, she didn’t make you feel dirty for appreciating the impossible-in-real-life proportions that Disney illustrators gave her. What did make you feel kind of dirty, however, was the way your mouth fell open when you saw her Victorian-era cleavage when she appeared in her yellow ballroom gown at dinner. But the best thing about Belle truly was her big heart; her dedication to a drooling, hairy beast in a suit was touching, and made you long for someone equally big-breasted and compassionate to fall in love with you.

4. Pocahontas

This strong-willed tribal princess wore more clothes than your average Disney princess, but still managed to get your blood flowing with her almond-shaped eyes and perfect, pouting lips. The real Pocahontas was a stocky tomboy named Matoaka (Pocahontas, meaning “little wanton”, was her childhood nickname), but just this once we’re glad Disney took it upon themselves to rewrite history. The animated Pocahontas may have been pure fiction, but with a tiny waist, long, thick hair, and a low, sultry voice she was good enough for you.

5. Princess Tiana

Disney’s most recent Princess-and the somewhat belated afterthought to include a black princess in the Disney Kingdom- is nonetheless a bonafide (and boner-worthy) animated hottie. Rivaling Belle in poise and Jasmine in exotic appeal, Tiana’s no-nonsense determination appealed to the part of you that thinks strong, independent women are sexy. Disney was careful not to over-sexualize this controversial character (it’s only okay to do that to white princesses) but even Tiana’s modest waitress uniform couldn’t disguise her shapely 2D form. Even her frog bod had lean, impossibly long legs and a teeny-tiny waist. If you didn’t notice, good for you; if you did- hey, we promised up front that there would be no judgment.