As humans we think we know everything.We know the reason why it rains (because god is taking a piss, DUH!) and the reason why our government is in complete shambles, but do we really know the essential facts on sex we need to know?
Do we know how our sexual bodies and psyche really work? Are you aware that there are chemicals and other good scientific stuff that go hand and hand with the nasty? I’m not talking about MDMA here people. It’s good to be informed and by the time you are done reading this week’s 5 sex facts you will be one step closer to being a sexual supernova.
1. Before She Cheats…
Keep in mind that while it may be because your socks smell like illegal immigrants who just hopped the border or because you cry every time you see that ASPCA commercial (don’t lie you know you do) science proves that there is more to why women cheat than your um…shortcomings. Experts have discovered that high levels of the hormone Oestradiol make women more likely to cheat. Shocking right? The reason? It creates larger breasts and smaller waists and as a result, they tend to get more attention and, therefore, have more opportunities to have sex with multiple partners.
2. Take the Stage…
Having trouble speaking at a board meeting? Not able to lecture a crowd about important things? Scared to get up and toast the groom on why he shouldn’t marry that slut? Well then do I have the proper prescription for you! It’s called SEX and it’s free (for most of us) and can cure stage fright. A Scottish study found that following sexual release, people had and easier time with public speaking. So raise your glass and tell your best friend that the woman he is marrying slept with his step father and his younger brother. Side effects may include euphoria, excessive smiling, bravery and stickiness.
3. Don’t Stop Yet…Okay Stop Now
While you may be bragging that you lasted so long that she is walking wobbly to your friends she is probably thinking to herself ways to make you finish sooner (finger in the butt, finger in the butt). It may feel great to have the stamina of Lance Armstrong, but you should save all of that energy for exercise. Why you ask? Because it turns out that women prefer sex to be about four minutes shorter than men do.
4. After Saying “I DO”, you will be saying a lot of “DO ME”
This one goes out for all the delusional women in the world who watch way too much Sex and the City. The ones who are deceived to believe that Samantha Jones really has all that sex. The ones who get hives just thinking about David Tutera and lose hearing when the words VERA WANG are even uttered. You ladies are foolhardy. A recent study showed that married women get it on way more than their unmarried counterparts and have better sex too! So ladies drop the cosmo and pick up a life partner preferably one with good genes and who doesn’t want a prenuptial agreement.
5. Stripper No.5 : Eau de Toilette
If you always thought that the girls that work at the local tit bar smell like cheap perfume and regret you are probably right. If you also think that your boyfriend is going there more than he admits – right again. He especially likes going there when Nikki the stripper is ovulating and on her period! Have no fear your man probably isn’t a vampire. It’s a proven fact that strippers make more money when they are ovulating. Scientists suspect it’s because of the pheromones being released from their bodies during that time. So if there is a certain time of the month that the cash flow is low know it’s because of the hoe’s flow.
Got a tip or some facts you want to share with me and the rest of the class?
Email me at Kristie@theirtoys.com
By Kristie Rivaloro