Getting married is an incredible event in a person’s life; however, always remember the wedding is for the brides, not groom. A good groom will allow his future wife to do most of the wedding planning. Just let her do her thing because your opinion truly does not matter in most of the decision making.
The groom should only focus on 4 things when preparing for the wedding. Here they are.
The Place
Many would consider this more of the bride’s job, but the groom needs to be part of this decision. You do not want your wedding to take place in a shit hole. You want to meet the caterers, see the dance floor size, room size, and overall atmosphere.
Additionally, the bride will like your opinion on this one because they know a man’s take is needed for this decision. Going from place to place might be tedious because you hear the same bullshit from all of them as they try to sell sell sell all this garbage to you. And yes it all costs a shit load of money.
The Band
Extremely important. A lousy band will kill your wedding. People will go home and shit-talk your wedding and say it sucked because of the band. Trust me; I have done that at weddings I have gone to.
A terrific band will be pricey, but it is worth it. A wedding should only be formal during the ceremony. After that is over, it is a massive party. Most of the people at the wedding are young and want to hear cool music, which they have heard of. My band rocked and sent everyone home happy.
Discussion with the people making speeches
At most weddings, this will be the best man, maid of honor, and father of the bride. It is the grooms job to speak with all these people and let them know that their speeches better be short.
Nobody came to the wedding to hear them speak. Also tell them not to try and be funny because they are not comedians and most of their jokes will be duds. The people in attendance just want to drink and go back on the dance floor. Keep the speeches to less than 2 minutes long. I would suggest telling the band to start playing music, just like at the Oscars, when the speech goes over. A long speech will put everyone to sleep and ruin the wedding. Additionally, long speeches take away from the most crucial part of the wedding: music. You are paying the band by the hour and long speeches can take away from an entire set of songs.
Another suggestion is for you or your bride not to make a speech. Go around to each table and thank everyone who showed up. It is more personal and people will appreciate it. You speaking will interrupt the flow of the wedding and is another time waster.
The Bachelor Party
This undoubtedly is the most vital part of the pre-wedding activities. The bachelor party is the bachelor’s last real opportunity to do practically whatever they want. The first thing a groom needs to do is figure out who is best suited to plan the bachelor party. Many think it has to be their best man, but that is not always the case.
If your best man is lame, I suggest finding someone fun that will plan a kick ass party. I was lucky to have my brother do the planning. I helped him out by telling him exactly what I wanted. Many will choose Vegas, New Orleans, or Mexico for the bachelor party spot. I chose to stay in NYC. We rented out a great room at AJ Maxwell’s Steakhouse. We had an open bar and some excellent food. After we had dinner, there was another private room in which we brought in our entertainment. We had an enjoyable lesbian dildo show.
I was pretty much done after 4 consecutive shots off the stripper’s chest. We then headed to a strip club to party for the rest of the night. I was in a totally incoherent drunken state in which I was puking all over the place. My friend had to get me a cab and bring me home. I ended up missing half my bachelor party, but still had a kick ass time and found out my friends had a fantastic time at the strip club which made it worth it for me.
Additional Note: As you noticed, I left off picking out the flowers. Leave that to the bride. Any groom, who cares about what the flowers look like, probably should not be marrying a bride. I did not go to the florist, nor did I even notice any of the arrangements at the wedding. Why is that? Because I am a man’s man.
—Rob Bonanni
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