Sure, everyone recalls the Pilgrims as that lovable bunch that fled to America, landed on Plymouth Rock and broke bread with the Native Americans. They created a time-honored tradition of turkey, football and boozing with loved ones. But what most people don’t know is that these Puritans weren’t so pure…
The Pilgrims, unlike other European settlers, got a little freaky from time to time, and were a lot more like the Native Americans in the sack (or in the woods) than one might think.
According to recent estimates, up to 50 percent of Plymouth colonists had premarital sex, despite the laws. Many were gay or bisexual, and there were more bad marriages, cheating wives, and hormonal teenagers than an episode of All My Children. Here are a few examples:
Stuffing a Turkey
Thomas Graunger was a poor teenage boy who lived on a farm, which was unfortunate for the animals. Unable to control his raging hormones, Graunger got in on with a cow, a mare, two goats, five sheep, and, yes, even a turkey. According to Governor William Bradford, “he was first discovered by one that accidentally saw his lewd practice towards the mare. Being upon it examined and committed, in the end he not only confessed the fact with that beast at that time, but sundry times before and at several times with all the rest of the forenamed in his indictment.” As a wicked punishment, he was forced to watch all the animals killed, then hanged. One might wonder if he was counting sheep while drifting away to his final resting place. Another bestial beau was Thomas Saddeler, who was found guilty of sex with a mare and sentenced to be severely whipped at the post, and to sit on the gallows with a rope about his neck during in front of the court. He was also be branded in the forehead with a Roman P to signify his “pollution.”
Gays Give Thanks in The Wrong Way
Edward Michell was put on trial “for his lewd sodomitical practices” with Edward Preston, and other lewd carriages with Lydia Hatch.” He was sentenced to be publicly whipped, first at Plymouth and then Barnstable. Meanwhile, John Alexander and Thomas Roberts were caught doing it, then punished for “spending their seed upon one another. Alexander was whipped, branded and banned from the colony, while Roberts was whipped, returned to his master and forbidden to hold any lands in the future. Though these punishments may seem harsh, they were not as severe as they could have been, representing a surprisingly liberal attitude toward homosexuality, similar to that of Native American tribes, in which boys were encouraged to masturbate with one another, and most reported at least one homosexual experience before becoming an adults.
Cowgirls and Indians
Mary, the wife of Robert Mendame, of Duxborrow was put on trial for taking up with Tinsin, a Native American. She was convicted of committing the act of uncleanness with him” and whipped at a cart’s tail through the town’s streets. She was also forced to wear a badge on left sleeve, similar to the Scarlett Letter, and if she was ever seen in public without it, Mary was to be burned in the face with a hot iron. Ouch. Tinsin, meanwhile, was beaten pretty badly, and the two were never allowed to see one another again. In another story, Sam, a Native American, was put on trial for the rape of Sarah Freeman. He was said to confess to “wickedly abusing her body,” and his punishment was to be whipped and banished. Though a capital offense, the Pilgrims went easy on Sam because they didn’t think he understood the true meaning of his crime.
You Better Only Have Sex with Your Spouse!
Though it happened quite often, premarital sex was a punishable crime, as was adultery. Thomas and Joane Pynson, were found guilty of “incontinency before their marriage” when law officials did the math and realized their baby was born a few months before they tied the knot. Edward Holman didn’t outright get caught having sex with someone other than his wife, but he was often seen visiting the house of Thomas Shrive, and the mere speculation that he could making passes at another man’s women, lead to a government ordered sex ban on the house! I wonder who was the lucky guy that got to enforce that policy?
In 1656, Katheren Aines and William Paule were sentenced for committing adultery. William was whipped and forced to pay the costs of his imprisonment. Katheren was whipped, imprisoned and forced to wear a letter on her shoulder. Katheren’s husband, Alexander, was also punished “exposing his wife to such temptations.” He was required to pay for his wife’s imprisonment, and sit in the stocks while William and Katheren were whipped.
Keep It In the Family
In one of the strangest cases, in 1668 Charles Winter and his daughter, Martha Hewitt, were hauled before the court on charges of incest. Despite the testimony of Martha’s husband and father-in-law, she refused to disclose the father of her child. No punishment was meted in her case. However, the records note that Winter, who was very austere towards his children, indulged Martha after her pregnancy. Oh, baby.
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